This is got to be the biggest funk I've been in since I don't know when. I am depressed all of the time and it seems like all I want to do is cry. I would blame it on PMS, but the depression has been there for awhile now.
The problem boils down to this.....my personal life is in shambles and as much as I try to hide that part of me from the rest of the world, it is slowly starting to rear its ugly little head. I am stressed out beyond belief. My marriage has fallen apart to the point where I don't really care if I ever see my husband again. He's a loser and I'm really tired of dealing with household issues by myself and without his support. I can't do bad by my damn self! Secondly, I've been stressed out with this whole college thing and how I'm going to finish paying for it. I had to take a second job on the campus, but I don't know if I'm even going to get enough hours to pay for the balance. And to top it all off, I keep receiving disconnect notices left and right and don't know how I'm going to pay them all before the deadline. Is it any wonder I developed a case of shingles and was out of the office for an entire week? I still feel like crap, but I have to go back to work.
I'm just tired....dog tired, and I just want to cry and cry and cry until I can't cry anymore. Then once I'm done with crying, I can pick the pieces of this miserable life up again and start over. Will the fear conquer me and will I let the husband back into my life because I don't want to be alone, or will I be the brave little soldier and kick his ass to the curb for good? The answers to these questions will hopefully be revealed soon....Until then, I remain miserably yours.....
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