Expectations

For the most part, I am a pretty patient person.  I tolerate a lot of crap, and I let things slide way too easily.  I've always done this because I've been too afraid to voice my feelings, because it seemed like every time I did, those I voiced them to would get offended.  After having thought about it long and hard, I've come to the realization that your true friends will stick around, even when you voice your frustrations, and those who don't stick around were never my friends to begin with.  So onto my rant....

(Note:  I'm not talking about any last minute things I plan, I'm referring to events that I plan for well in advance.)

Is it really so hard to respond to an email or a text message with a simple yes or no when you've been invited to go somewhere or do something?  Why do you wait until the last minute to tell me you aren't going when you know it took time and effort to contact you and invite you to go in the first place?  Did it ever occur to you that I really value our time together and when I try to organize something for everyone and none of you respond, it doesn't piss me off, but it does sting a little because it makes me feel as if you really aren't the friend you expect me to be for you.  When you invite me to events I always respond, even if I can't go, and I don't wait until the last minute to tell you either.  It's called common courtesy!  If I schedule something and you tell me you're coming, then you don't show up or you wait until the last minute to cancel, you really don't take into consideration what imposition that puts me in.  My time is every bit as valuable as yours.  How would you feel if I did that to you?

And why is it MY responsibility to keep in touch with you?  Don't you have a dialing finger?  Why do I always have to take the initiative to contact you to see how you're doing?  Why can't you pick up a phone or send me an email once in awhile?

And stop assuming that I'm some weak minded individual who lets her feelings overshadow her judgment.  I am fully aware of the games that people play and I'm not some desperate sap looking to fill some void in my life.  I care about people, even those who have hurt me in the past, but don't think for one minute that I'm naive or that I don't know how to deal with those people.  And careful distance and observation doesn't make me a fence rider either.  If you've ever given me a reason not to trust you, don't expect that you are going to win that trust back overnight.  You have to earn it, just like I expect I have to earn yours.

If any of this applies to those who call themselves my friends and you still like me after reading this, then you are a true friend and I love you.  If you can't deal with it, I'm sorry, but I really am tired of coddling and keeping my mouth shut so I don't lose your friendship.