Grieving Process

Why do people assume that it's OK for them to tell you that you should "get over it" after you've been grieving a person's death? Life moves on without that person in our lives, that's a given, but just because life moves on doesn't mean we have to stop grieving for them.

I've also heard the adage "you have to let them go so that they can move on." OK, so who actually knows this to be certain? Are our minds really so strong that we can hold a spirit in one place? I know there are some who think they have that kind of power over the spirit world, but I don't buy it.

Here's what I believe......I do believe that there are ghosts and there are spirits. Ghosts, to me, are the ones who have unfinished business and refuse to move on because they either don't want to or they haven't come to terms with their death yet. I don't think it's a matter of whether or not they "can't". I also believe in another phenomen called "residual hauntings." In this case, I really don't believe it's a ghost or a spirit. Bodies are great big balls of energy, and energy doesn't die. We leave an impression of that energy behind wherever we go. When there is a tragedy or something that brings us great joy, the energy is stronger and therefore it leaves a "moving picture" in its place that others might be able to see, hear, etc.

Now, a spirit, to me, is a loved one who has crossed over and comes to visit from time to time to say hello and to let us know that they are doing just fine. Just because a person passes away doesn't mean they are gone from our lives for good. They live within our hearts, minds and souls. I have talked to some who have a strong religious belief that these are merely demons trying to trick us. Trick us into what? Into believing they're OK and there for us whenever we need comfort? I'm calling BS on that one.

I've been pondering death the last fews days because I just recently lost a friend a couple of weeks ago. She and I had parted ways a few years back, but I loved her dearly and I really am feeling a lot of guilt because I wasn't there for her in the end. I knew she was sick with cancer, I knew she was suffering from dementia and rather than try to protect her from the ones that took advantage of that, I left her alone with those vultures. A lot of people who knew the situation and her actions would tell me that I have nothing to feel guilty about, but they really didn't have the relationship I had with her, and they didn't know her like I knew her. She got caught up in the moment and her mind was not clear.

I'm sorry Jayne....